YORK BOUND PUBLICATIONS
Written by Louis Leach III
Copyright (C) By: York Bound Enterprise 2022
All rights reserved. No parts of this book may be written or retransmitted without written permission from the author.
CAN’T KNOCK THE HUSTLE
IF IT DON’T MAKE DOLLARS IT DON’T MAKE SENSE
Just the mention of the word money brought a smile to Champagne’s face. If there was one thing that could definitely put a smile on Champ’s face, it was money. And lots of it too! Champagne had been diagnosed with a mental disease called ” caviar taste on a Ramen Noodle budget.” Don’t get me wrong. Most times Champ was built for her taste, but sometimes…..things got a little rough for Champ, just like it did for most of us. That was normal. The problem with Champ was that when things were going good for her she always seemed to rack up more debt….or monthly payments for something else. By the time Champ’s “ups” were over, she seemed to be further in the hole than she was before things had began going good for her. Unless Champ struck it very BIG in some type of way, this was probably how the rest of Champ’s life was going to be. Short periods of being “up”, followed by long stretches of being “down”. Just the thought of this shit always made Champ shudder.
“Make some money how?”
Champ asked as she passed Mark theWal-Mart bag containing the items she’d picked up for him. Mark didn’t even bother to answer her or look up from his seat in the desk chair he’d brought with him. Mark slid the chair across the floor, grabbed a backpack, and slid back to where he was the first time. Champ smiled as she watched Mark work….or whatever the hell it was that he was doing. In all of the years she’d known her brother, she had never seen him this focused on anything. Even as a child, Mark had never been able to focus on much of anything without his mind eventually wandering off into space somewhere. Champed continued to watch as Mark emptied the contents of the Anti-freeze shaped container called “degreaser”, into a sauce pan……….
Champ pulled up a chair and grabbed herself a front row seat to the show. She sat there staring at Mark with her eyes…..and mouth wide open. Champ was practically drooling at the mouth, without being aware of it at all. Champ was entranced by what was transpiring right before her eyes. Mark was literally making money!
Champ quietly sat and watched as Mark expertly went about his business, which was basically printing money. Mark started with a $1 bill. By the time he “freaked-n-bounced” that joint, he had a very real feeling, and excellent looking $20 bill. Champ couldn’t believe her eyes. When the hell had Mark learned to do this? A better question was, why was she just finding out about this gold mine? And why wasn’t Mark rich? Or at the very least looking like he was? In Champ’s mind this shit made little to no sense at all. If Mark knew how to make a $1 bill turn into a $20 bill, he had to be banking some major money. But why the hell was he usually broke?
“So how long have you been doing this?”
Champ asked with genuine interest. Mark looked over his shoulder and shrugged as he continued working.
“I knew how to do this for awhile. It’s just something I do when I need a few extra bucks for something. It looks pretty good too. Check this out.”
Mark unpinned one of the freshly ironed bills that were hanging with a clothespin, from a clothesline Mark had sat here and put together. Mark passed one of the bills to Champ, who instantly put the money up to the light “to get a better look”. She had no idea why that was the first thing she did with the funny money, but it seemed like the thing to do if you were checking the “realness” of the finished product. Champ slowly nodded. She could not see a difference between the bill that was in her hand, and a “real” twenty dollar bill. Champ also realized her eye was untrained in these type of things, so she didn’t get too hype about that. What had Champ struggling to not hyperventilate from excitement, was the feel of the funny money. It wasn’t super-thin like others she’d come across in passing. Mark’s product felt like the real thing.
“As a matter of fact…….”
Champ said mostly to herself as she reached into her pocket to pull out a few dollars. She grabbed a $20 bill and began to compare it to Mark’s bill.
“OH MY FREAKIN’ GOD!”
Champ was feeling like she’d just struck oil! This shit was literally a money printer! Champ couldn’t help but to envision herself traveling from exotic destination to exotic destination. Not for a vacation….this was how Champ wanted to live..PERIOD! And her little brother had the key to the lifestyle she’d always longed for. The one thing that was standing in the way of her dream lifestyle, was the same person in possession of the key to that shit, Mark! Him and Champ were different in almost every way possible, including the way their individual minds worked when it came to spending money.
The first question Champ had for her brother was, why did he make all $20 bills instead of $100’s? Mark said he used $20’s because they were a lot less suspicious than $100 bills. Champ disagreed with this vehemently, but she managed not to open her mouth. Mark went on to explain that this wasn’t a thing he did on a regular basis, and he wasn’t really all that sure how good the money was. He knew his bills were good enough to pass the “money marker” test at the corner stores around the way. He’d got up off of his bills at those type of joints 90% of the time. The other 10% he was using to enter neighborhood crap games with. And Mark didn’t even do that with his batches sometimes. He was too worried that the funny money would be traced back to him in some type of way. Mark was more paranoid than hungry for some coin. Champ was the exact opposite. She gave zero fucks about any of that being careful shit! I mean, it wasn’t like Champ was a complete idiot who would do idiotic things if she were the one in her brother’s position, but Champ did feel like Mark was being extra careful and extra paranoid for no reason. Mark kept taking about the Feds this, and the feds that. Champ wanted to laugh her ass off and tell Mark that him and his few dollars worth of funny money he got off in the neighborhood, was the very last thing the federal government was thinking about!
After her conversation with Mark, Champ’s mind was made up. She’d found her new hustle! She was going to print money. Way more money than Mark’s scary ass! She was going to do it the right way and get at some real money! She just needed to learn how to do the shit first! Luckily for her, Mark already asked her if she had enough time to help him make a batch this week. He offered to pay her for her time. Little did Mark know, she should’ve been paying him, because Champ was planning to learn everything there was to know about the process of making funny money….and little did Mark know, but he was going to be taking on the job of being her unsuspecting teacher!
Champ was three days into working with Mark before she had to run back to the store for more degreaser and other business related products. Champ had been doing nothing but studying Mark and his techniques since the day she began working with him. Champ hadn't had the time, or even want, to try to think about anything else at the moment. Any more shit added to her life at this point would be nothing more than a distraction. Making this money was taking up 100% of Champ's time, attention, and cares to give. She was a woman on a mission. Champ was focused as she searched the aisles of Wal-Mart for the things she'd come here for.
“So you stalking me now huh?”
Champ turned around to see Biz standing there smiling. Champ let out a slightly irritated low-key, in her own mind, sigh. She knew exactly who was behind her. She wasn’t trying to be mean or anything, but right now was definitely not the time for love or whatever, but she still managed a smile as she responded.
They both laughed. Champ was just about to say something else, but Biz beat her to the punch.
“So when you gonna let me take you out to eat or something?”
Biz smiled at Champ as he awaited her answer. His boldness threw Champ for a little loop. This was surprising. If there was one thing Champ absolutely adored about a man, it was confidence.
“Finally found your nuts huh?”
Champ joked. Diz laughed as he shook his head.
” I deserved that, I think? But are you willing to let me attempt to make it up to you, now that I finally found my nuts and all? “
Diz said with a huge smile on his face. Champ answered his question with a peck on the cheek. She walked away afterward without saying a word. She put a little extra stank in her walk as she exited the scene too! Diz stood there shaking his head.
“A woman of mystery! I like that shit!”